The Mental Apocalypse

THIS IS AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION BETWEEN ME AND SOME IDIOT

WHO RANDOMLY MESSAGED ME ON FACEBOOK

• Ahmed Mohamed March 31 at 8:13am Report

Good morning
Is proportionate what I found to tell me. Went away. Why do not you want the truth why run away. I’m your because I think that you extend your hand of Jesus. The hand is not providing it for people like us but to God. Did Jesus is God. Is this the logic. God is the highest of human beings. God is the Creator and He is capable, a district that does not die . But Mary is dead and Jesus is not now exist, then how these two men to be God. Is God one or three. Is it possible that God, as you say you three how they can control the universe if three of Kano. May the Lord die already. If the socks is Father, as you say you how to leave his son die. Is it not the Lord is able. O slave of the Lord our God is one God has no partner. has no son nor wife. It’s not like humans. is not nothing like Him Knowing

• Doug Horning March 31 at 10:27am

Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you people? Did that desert sun fuck your brains up? Or is this some side effect of an STD from fucking your camels? How in the hell do you think that your religious and ideological beliefs even remotely portray any functioning intelligence? What’s a day in your life consist of :

1. wake up and have breakfast with out bacon

2. pray facing a specified direction because your god isn’t good enough to be an all encompassing one.

3. burn wife’s clitoris so she can not be so sinfully aroused when you fuck her with your tiny arabic prick.

4. publicly stone sister in law to death for not answering the door wrapped like a mummy.

5. sit at the local coffee shop and wonder which girls are hot and never knowing, because you make them wear 35lbs. of black fabric regardless of the fact that it’s 125 degrees out.

6. film yourself beheading an American contractor for having the audacity to travel 10,000 miles and risk his life to build a hospital in your town.

7. stop at the Saudi Gap and buy a nice, light weight, breathable vest loaded with c4 using a credit card number you scammed off some single American mom on a social networking site.

8. get to wherever you think the infidels are.

9. KaBOOOM!!!

• Doug Horning April 1 at 9:27am

What no comment from the mongoloid gallery?  Fuck you! I hope you martyred yourself.

I know, I know. You think this sounds cheesy. Hell, you probably think this is gonna be some lame assed attempt at writing another “cookie cutter” bitching blog. Well fuck you! Who cares what you think. You’ll fucking read it anyway, won’t you? God damn opinionated dicks…On a side note…If you think that what lies ahead is in any way, shape, or form racist….well fuck you..also on a side note… if you think that this could be a little more racists then fuck you as well!

• 10. Art Modell – Fuck Art Modell! Don’t know who Art Modell is? Well, aren’t you a fucking moron, or you were born after 1996. He’s the fucking scumbag former owner of the Cleveland Browns. The one who took the team to Baltimore to form those ignorant bastard Ravens. This mother fucker needed shot. In 1961 he bought the Browns for $4 million, but this cunt only paid $250 grand for it. He swindled investors and 4 partners into paying for the rest of it and giving him sole ownership and control at the same time. Then in 1963 this fuck fired Paul Brown, a legendary coach with few true equals. What kind of dumb fuck does something like that? He even swindled Cleveland into renting the stadium to him for $1 a year. That’s right a fucking whole buck! Then he moves the Browns to Baltimore. This dick used to pout about how he felt betrayed when the Dodgers were moved from is home town in Brooklyn to L.A. What a cock sucking, money grubbing, piece of shit. I hate him. He was also a socialist.

• 9. Mohandas Gandhi aka Mahatma – This mother fucker was a honest to God moron. Shut the fuck up and hear me out! Pricks. This dolt was big time into fighting tyranny with civil disobedience. Real fucking smart! Nothing makes a tyrant ruler more happy than mother fuckers not listening. I know if I was a tyrant, I would have just killed this skinny prick for causing such a commotion. His father was a womanizing Prime Minister for Great Brittan ( the government Gandhi spent he life trying to remove from India). His mother was the Prime Minister’s fourth wife (the first three allegedly died of accidental injury). At 13 he was forced into marriage with a 14 year old, and had his first child a 15. Sounds pretty fucking sick to me. This fuck was so pretentious he even “fasted” (starved himself, for you morons out there) to protest shit. And can you believe that shit usually worked for him? Personally I don’t give a shit if some skinny assed, vegetarian prick is gonna starve himself because I’m not making him happy. Fuck him. I bet he’s rolling in his grave thinking about how he fought for India’s independence from England, and how India has become so dependent on America for for out sourced jobs. If he was born in the last 20 years he would either be making Nikes in a sweat shop, or answering phones for Xbox Live. This guy was a “D” average student in school. His family sent him to London University where he became a blood sucking lawyer. What an ASSHOLE!

• 8. Browns Haters – That’s right bitches. These ignorant bastards are such fucking shallow fans of their favorite teams that they have no idea that before the championship was named the “Superbowl”, the Browns had won 10 titles in a row. These fucks don’t even realize that most of their head coaches learned how to do their jobs in Cleveland. Cowher, Schottenheimer, Belichick, to name a few. Hell some of the better players in the NFL played in Cleveland then went else where. Yet rest assured fuckers, the Browns even made it easier for you to jerk off looking at the “Big Head” you hung over your bed. Losing to your teams star quarterback and making him the star he appears to be. Browns’ fans are so fucking bad ass that we caused the entire NFL to remove those heavy glass beer bottles and replace them with the much lighter (and softer) plastic ones. Saving you drunk fucks from wrist fatigue. How you may ask. Because we were whipping those mother fuckers at the refs. Now that’s a real hardcore fan base. Not some towel flapping bullshit.

• 7. Toby Kieth – This cock sucker is a piece of shit. This pudgy, curly headed fuck drives women crazy with his gimmicky crap country songs. His entire recording career is based on gimmicky garbage belched out in baritone from this stupid fuck. The worst part about his fame is how his most popular songs are the one where he tries to incorporate the latest “cool thing to say” into his music. The problem is, he’s always late on it by about two years. That’s ok though because his fans are generally slow anyway. EXAMPLE: “Who’s yer daddy”. Fuck this jerk, he’s the fat, ugly, Michael Bolton of country music.

• 6. Reverse Racists – These prize winning anal discharges are nearly the bane of my existence. Oh your ancestors were rich, prominent slave owners so you owe me. Fuck you! Do you know me? Do you have a vast knowledge of my family tree? Or for that matter, was your great, great, grand pappy beat with a switch from it?  Oh, you don’t know? Well me neither, so go fuck yourself. Don’t assume that because I’m white that my ancestors orchestrated the plight of your ancestors. I can’t believe that this shit happens. How many times have you heard, “it’s because he’s black” or “it’s because he’s white”? Too god damned many. All racists are to some extent retarded. Here’s the deal. I don’t give a fuck if you’re some Brillo headed, boot-lipped, donkey assed, collards eating spook. Or some pasty faced, cracker, white bread, honky mother fucker. I hate you for who you are, not where your ancestors came from. Fuck you, fuck your ancestors and fuck your entire family tree. If I come across some one who feels that they are getting oppressed, I tell them to get fucked too.

• 5. Fat People Who Don’t Think They’re Funny Because They’re Fat – Before I start on this one and make some lard-ass swallow a family of bovine because they’re depression eaters and I made them cry, let me explain my expertise on this. I’m fat, check that, I’m FAT. I’m 6’2″ and almost 400lbs. I have been big since I was injured on the job in 2000. I get no exercise unless my wife is in bed and I have to get up to change the discs in my 360. I don’t feel bad for myself because I’m fat, I’m hilarious. Nothing is funnier than seeing me try to put my shoes on in a hurry. With all the heavy breathing and grunting. Fat-asses who get their feelings hurt because someone makes fun of them are retarded. Have you ever seen a fat-ass try to sit in a chair with arms on it? It’s a hoot. But they get all whiny when you point and bring it to the attention of everyone in the lobby. Fuck that fatty. You make me embarrassed to be fat.

• 4. Hypochondriac Full of Shit Parents – Imagine this…you’re at the store and you hear the blood curdling screams of what can only be an angry howler monkey on meth. As you turn your head in the direction of what, by the sounds of things can only be a church choir being massacred. You see a twelve year old kicking the living shit out of his seventy year old grandmother while the parents watch teary eyed. So what do you do? You find a weapon. Your first choice is a 1 gallon pickle jar that you can use as a bludgeon. Just after the child’s last post conscious twitch the parents frantically rush to the aid. But not to the grandma’s, or even yours for the heroic act of putting your self in danger to save the old bag. To the child’sv instead. As they huddle over their demon seed they look up to the now gathering crowd and proclaim in a “pity me” voice. “It’s not his fault, he’s autistic”. Now, first reaction is to pick up that child and beat the parents to death with his body. Might as well kill the old woman too. Fuck it. You don’t want to let her go if she’s genetically the source of this ignorance. Anyways, this is too often the case. In my opinion parents who’s children are unfortunate enough to actually have a problem should be made to carry a list of all pertinent diagnosis. If in the event a parent can’t provide reasonable proof that they aren’t raising their kids to be trash, then you are obligated to stab the father in or around the scrotum so as to keep this fuck from ever reproducing and causing a total epidemic of parental dip-shitery. Although the brains of theses ignorant parents are under developed, it’s extremely unfortunate that their brains have evolved past the point of eating their own young. Don’t get me wrong here.. I love a good autistic kid every now and then, if in fact the child really is autistic.

• 3.Wanna Be’s – Also know as “Wangstas” (white – gangstas) are fucking retards. Most “wanna bes” display an amazing lack of basic brain function. They are characterized as an obviously not black person trying to be a black person. The problem is that they only display the worst stereotypes of African Americans. They walk around with their pants hanging off their asses and hats on side ways talking like Dr. Dre from the early 90′s. What they, and most African Americans don’t see is the inherent racism involved in this. If any self respecting AA was to come across this they should see it as pure, blatant racism. I compare it to when a black comedian (ex: Dave Chappelle) is portraying a white person. In Chappelle’s case he’s obviously displaying the most well known negative stereo types of the average Caucasian to be funny and slightly offensive (which we all know I find anything offensive to be hilarious). He’s doing jokingly, yet in the case of the “wanna be”, he feels he’s making a serious attempt at pulling off a reverse Michael Jackson. As the U.S. becomes more and more diversified we should all come together on the common grounds of stopping this ridiculous phenomenon from persisting. It is, was, and always will be an embarrassment to both cultures. What I think would be fare is this…Since these morons think it’s acceptable to portray the worst of African American Stereotypes then in turn they should be subjected to the worst stereotypes of African Americans’ treatment. I think they should be pulled over while sitting still at a red light. How about getting eyeballed every time they enter a place of business? We should create an covert, bi-racial task force commissioned purely to sneak into the homes of “wanna bes” and secretively stock their fridges with grape soda and 40 ounces of O.E. How would that be home-boy?

• 2. Teenage Internet Hard Asses – Have you ever been in a chat room or forum and had some douche bag try to explain to you that he would kick your ass so bad as to decimate your entire family? Did you notice the horrible grammar and syntax? It’s because he’s a fucking 10 year old who knows that this is the only way he can talk shit to people and not get his ass whipped. I’ve also noticed that any Xbox Live game lobby is guaranteed to have at least two of these prize winners puffing their chest out inside it. Now here is my theory on this…Unless Mike Tyson is on several millions of Live accounts simultaneously, then the high pitched whine of their voices cements the fact that these fucks are prepubescent pansies. I have spent the last five years of my life day dreaming about how blessed I would be to find myself standing in a dark alley with one of these fags. Oh how I yearn to know if I can actually muster the strength to rip the arm off of someone with my bare hands. Ok, enough fantasizing. The sad reality of this is that they will never cease. They will persists on displaying their alpha male dominance for the entire existence of internet communication. The only true way to end their outbursts is to ignore them. Which as you may already know, is hard for me. I hope one day to hear their screams as their parents stomp into the room after overhearing them and whip their fucking asses. But lets be honest. If their parents weren’t worthless then these kids wouldn’t be playing a game that rated for mature adults, or would ever have been raised in such a way as to think what they’re doing makes them less dispensable as human beings.

• 1. Zombies that Can Run – Enough said..